Written by Princess T. Zafra
// Year 2022
"Evangeline! Here! Catch!" A youth filled with sunshine was throwing a ball to an energetic girl that was long expecting for the ball to be thrown to her. "Aye! Give me! I'll catch it!" The place was filled with laughter as the kids played around. From a distance, there was a couple smiling as they gazed at the kids. “They're so energetic, they clearly took after you.” A man laughed with joviality as he gazed at the woman in his arms. “I wonder when we will have a mini you. I want to see a little you that is just sitting on a corner with books surrounding her.” The woman laughed lightly as she gazed lovingly at her husband who also gazed at her with adoration and love. “I just hope that our children won't suffer in anything that I have gone through.” The woman smiled bitterly as she recalled the time back when she was still a youth. It was the darkest time of her life.
// Year 2008
Shouts were all over the place as a couple was fighting. A crying woman and an angry man was always the scene that greeted a young Reina everytime she came back from school. She would stand on their home's doorstep as she looked quietly at her broken family. Her father then suddenly rushed out of their home, flinging her to the side as he storms out. Her mother was crying her heart out as she curled up on the floor. Reina hurriedly stands up and runs towards her mother to console her but she was immediately pushed away as her mother shouted profanities and blamed her for the misery that was befalling on her. Tears slowly formed in her eyes as she also started to blame her existence to be a curse that never will anyone accept.
Everyday, it was always like this in Reina's home. Her mother would be in a fight with her father, and after, her mother would berate her for being useless and worthless in this household. The only time of peace that Reina will ever have is when it was time for them to sleep, but even so, Reina's thoughts would never make her fall asleep as it mock her.
Every morning, Reina would wake up very early to prepare breakfast and also get herself ready for school. She would wake up early in hopes of not encountering her parents' fight, she would eat alone at the dining table as she gulped down all the food quickly and immediately ran out of the house. In her school, Reina was a good student and was highly attentive in every lecture that made her almost every teacher's favorite. She wasn't bullied but she also doesn't have any friends and would regard everyone as an acquaintance. Many seemed to realize that Reina didn't really want to be friends with anyone, so they usually would limit themselves when interacting with her.
But Reina actually longed for someone to be friends with her, but she is always afraid that one will judge her and no one would accept someone with a broken family - more so, she was the reason for it. Reina had always believed in her mother's words, so she has always blamed her existence for the state of her family.
As Reina slowly digested this information in herself, she also started to decline food for her body. In her mind, this is a punishment for existing in this world. She shouldn't have any privilege to eat and to live comfortably when her family is in ruins. Reina thought of this as she put down her spoon filled with food, she slowly stood up and walked away slowly out of their house to go to school. Many days passed by, Reina slowly felt a sense of accomplishment. The longer she went without food, the greater the euphoric rush she felt. She felt like this should be the way to maybe atone for her mistake in existing.
And, in that moment of happiness, her depression lifted. She found herself chasing this moment of success every day. For a while, she thought she would finally be able to be appreciated, but her eating disorder continued to take over. It was like a disease of wanting more; it was never enough. She wants to punish herself more severely. She would tell herself that she needed her stomach to mimic how she felt - empty and hollow. She slowly tried to make her appearance match how broken she was feeling inside. It was clear that Reina was nearing the doors of death, and she knew it, but she didn’t care. She realized that she had long wanted to die. She prayed and prayed that this disease of wanting more would kill her because she then thought that might be easier for her family.
In her school, many have realized Reina's unfortunate situation, and many were also worried for her, even the teachers, as they notice Reina's declining grades and participation in activities. It was lunch time when Reina's classmates realized that she didn't really eat lunch and there was a girl student who softly invited her. Reina gazed at her with empty eyes and slowly stood up, but everyone suddenly exclaimed in surprise as they saw Reina's falling body.
// In the present time
“Love? Reina?” Her husband was softly calling out for her as he noticed Reina's grip slowly tightening around him. Reina blinked in surprise as she slowly looked up to see her husband's worried face. A smile formed on her lips as tears started to form on the corners of her eyes. “Thank you.” Reina softly said as she leaned to the warm comfort of her husband's arms. “What happe- Hey! Hahaha.. ” Her husband was interrupted as their kids dived in and hugged them both together.“Group hug!!”, they shouted in unison and everyone was suddenly laughing and smiling as they gazed at one another. Reina's tears finally rolled down as she remembered how this husband of hers was the one who caught her and immediately sent her to the clinic. She was baffled by how he was a secret admirer of hers and was always worried that she looked to be sad and weak, but he was always afraid to go to her because he could sense that she was afraid of everyone surrounding her. She laughed softly as she silently remembered that face of his when she woke up from that moment, he wore a serious dark face as he gazed at her and said, “Don't worry, I'll help you. I will save you.”
Comments