Written by Jusse Loquias
“Ellie, wake up! It's 1 AM already we’re going to prep you now.”, my mom said. “Wake up sweetie, we're going to get ready now.”
“I'm up, let me take a shower first.”, I said. I navigated myself to the bathroom. It was kind of hard considering in a hotel right now.
- - - Shower - - -
“Wow, today’s the day…. I’m so happy, I hoped for this day to come… I just wish I could see it…. I hope it's what I envisioned it to be… The breeze of the wind flowing through my hair, the sun shining its beautiful colors on the sunrise, me in my floral, white dress, and him the person I love---”, I thought to myself.
“Ellie, hurry up! You don’t want to miss your wedding day, do you?”, my sister, Ella, shouted.
“There you are, now let’s put some make-up on you now.”, My mom said.
“Sweetie you look beautiful.”, mom said.
“Really? How do I look? Do I look as pretty as I was in prom?”, I asked.
“Even better. Your skin is the sand of the beach, your make-up is the colors of the sunrise, your eyes are the ocean blue, and your hair is the ocean waves.”, Ella said.
“Wow, I look so beautiful.” I cried.
My grandparents lived near a beach when my sister and I were younger. Once a month, our parents would drop us off at their place and stay there for a weekend. My sister and I would sneak out of our rooms in the middle of the night and stay at the terrace, enjoy the breeze and wait for the sun to rise.
*FLASHBACK*
“Ella, is gramma and grampa awake?”, I asked. “I’ll check….”, Ella replied. “The coast is clear… be quiet.”
- - - Terrace - - -
“Will we ever forget this place? It’s like the best place in the world.”, Ella rhetorically asked.
“I sure won’t…. I’m going to remember every detail of this place… so that when I go blind, I’ll still know when I’m here.”, I claimed.
“The breeze is no nice…”, she sighed. “Look! The sun is rising…. Woah!”
“Let’s put on your dress now.”, mom said. “Can you describe it to me?”, I asked.
“It’s a white flowing dress, with a floral pattern, roses as requested. You can feel it, it has a laced floral top flowing to the bottom. The skirt is a princess-type ballgown that flows to your back.”, mom explained.
My favorite flowers are roses. It might be cliché but I like it. My mom surprised me with my favorite childhood dress when I was younger. It had a rose floral pattern, that’s why I liked it.
*FLASHBACK*
“Mom, can I have that dress?”, I asked. “Sorry sweetie but that’s not why we came here today.”, mom said. “But it has roses on it, mom.”, I pleaded. “A no is a no.”, mom exclaimed.
- - - Christmas that year - - -
“Sweetie, here is my present for you.”, mom said. “Mom really?!”, I asked in excitement.
“Yes, you wanted it right. There you go, Merry Christmas sweetie.”, mom happily replied.
“You look so beautiful in that dress.”, Ella said.
“It's almost time! Let’s go in the car now the ceremony will be starting soon.”, mom shouted.
“Ellie, are you ready?”, Ella asked. “Yeah, I am”, I breathed deeply.
“If your dad saw you now….”, mom said while tearing up.
When I was still a newborn, I was diagnosed with early signs of glaucoma. My parents were told that when I turn 5, I will become completely blind, but some procedures could be done to slow down the damage. I got the procedure when I was 3… I was still able to see things, up until I was 18.
I was always open about the fact that I was going to be blind one day and will be blind for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, people have understood it, but not all accepted it.
*FLASHBACK*
I heard mom and dad fighting one day… They usually fight, but that was the day that I realized I was the reason why they always fought.
“She’s gonna be blind! She will eventually stop doing anything because she can’t see at all. We, as her parents would have to be the ones that will take care of her and she can’t do anything because she’s blind. Can’t you understand that?!”, dad exclaimed.
“Yes, I can understand, but I’m not giving up on her because I know that she’s very talented and smart, and losing her eyesight will not be something that will stop her. I know that she is very capable of keeping herself up and the loss of sight is just one disability and it won’t make her completely incapable. You’ve seen her grow and prepare for the moment that she will lose her eyesight and she has always been strong. Why can’t you give her a chance?”, mom cried.
“What if she won't? What if she’ll lose hope in herself?”, dad asked.
“Well, she will if she doesn’t get the support that she needs! And a father like you?! She doesn’t need your type of support and if you don’t change that, then she doesn’t need you.”, mom claimed.
- - - Wedding ceremony - - -
The ceremony has started now and I’m now walking down the aisle.
I can feel the sand beneath my feet, the wind in my hair, and I can hear everyone cheering.
“Hey”, James said softly. “Are you crying?”, I giggled.
“Yah… You’re so beautiful… It brings out your blue eyes.”, James said.
James is my husband. We were schoolmates in high school. He is one of the people that accepted me and learned to love who I am. He was there when no one else was emotionally available. He helped when I was struggling to cope with my situation. He never left and he learned to love and grow along the way.
*FLASHBACK*
- - - Prom - - -
“Ellie! James is here, he’s waiting outside.”, mom said. “How do I look?”, I said excitedly. “Sweetie, you look so beautiful.”, mom said.
(Outside the house)
“Wow, you look amazing…”, James was amazed. “Here’s the corsage. It matches your dress. It brings out your blue eyes.”
*kiss*
“You may kiss the bride!”
*kiss*
Everyone was cheering. I felt like everyone was happy. I didn’t have to see that they are. I just knew. I felt the breeze of the air and everyone under the bright, beautiful sun rising, I can hear the waves of the ocean water. I can feel every beautiful memory I ever had.
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