Written by Princess Zafra
"The world is a bitter place to be in. In every ups, there will be downs; in every downs, there will be ups - but sadly, some cannot escape the clutch of the demons pulling them down. Sadly, they will be stuck inside that vortex, sucking them down to the deepest pit of their life." Pitch black eyes stared into another pair of black eyes. A pair of orbs that is filled with emptiness. It moved anxiously around as if it is desperate to be freed. The fear is coming again, and he sees himself being eaten away with it again.
He sadly looked away from the mirror as he felt his heart getting heavy from the weight it had been carrying. "Life seems to be against me, why did they put this burden of a weight on me?" Falling to his bed, silent tears started to fall down from his eyes. His face started to scrunched up from trying not to cry, his face screaming help - not wanting to feel the feeling of despair once again. The silent room soon filled with hushed whimpering, his sobs that he tried to suppress; disgusted by the sound he was making.
He stood up abruptly as he staggered away to the bathroom, locking it behind him. There, sounds of anguish wails and suffering was heard by no one but his walls. Nothing is more destructive than an uncontrollable mind.
Hours passed and now the morning had come. Our protagonist slowly came out. His face was tired, his eyes swollen - his figure was just pitiful to be even looked at. As he saw the sunlight peeking out of his window, he walked slowly and opened it, the morning air that seemed to refresh his whole being, bringing a certain calmness to his whole being as he felt the tiredness of his body. A drop tear ran down as he felt himself heaving a sigh of relief.
He gazed at the sun calmly and decided to take a morning walk. He slowly got out of his dirty clothes and hurriedly cleans himself up. Changing into new clothes as he hurries himself to get out of his room. "My room is a place for my demons. I don't want to be in there much longer." He said to himself as he jog outside.
Once outside, he looked around and felt it was a novel feeling. He felt like he had been stuck inside his room for ages, well, he had been stuck there for months now. He gazed at his feet as they slowly carried him to familiar places. It was still peaceful as it can be, and slowly he heard joyful laughters and giggles in front of him. He sees two females walking while talking and giggling with each other, and he slowed down his walks as he looked down, his steps becoming lighter - afraid that it might destroy the joyful atmosphere in front of him. 'I don't want to be the reason for destroying their precious moments.'
The chatters and jokes of the girls were like music to his surroundings as he also found himself smiling and even almost let out a hearty chuckle to their amusing stories and jokes. They stopped by a park to sit down on the bench, and our protagonist sat next to them as he closed his eyes to enjoy the chatters and tried to assess the forgotten feeling of happiness he suddenly found inside him. Then suddenly, he heard one of the girls asking, "Why are you so happy and positive almost all the time?" The other girl giggled and said excitedly, "I just need to find the positivity in something, no matter how hopeless it looks - just believe, believe and have faith that there will be a time that the happiness and positivity you're hunting for will be the one hunting and unexpectedly coming for you. Don't be stuck inside, go and explore. How can happiness also find you when you're just moping around inside somewhere unreachable. Let yourself free and you will see a way." She poked the tip of the nose of her friend as she chuckled and continued again to tell another tale of adventure of her life.
Our once dim star in this story was startled by the answer that he heard and was eager to ask actually why it seems that they're a bunch of happy individuals and it seems that they have not encountered the depressing feeling of life. He never believed, there was something good in this world. It was always a world full of suffering and a place that gives endless pain. That every individual had suffered in their life, yes maybe this is true, but he never believed that there will be people who braved through the suffering and pain.
He contemplated this for the whole day and thought if it is good to change. Changing means being vulnerable again. Changing means to be tough even if you aren't. He always wants to get out of the hole he is in but he doesn't have the spirit to do so because there is nothing that he can see that is worth fighting to get out for. But why not for himself? 'Shouldn't I be fighting happiness for myself first? Life gave me a turning point and I am glad I realized it. A change in mentality is hard, but it will be worth it, right? Even if it means dying while not meeting the end. At least I tried to find what was better for me. An adventure of chasing happiness and happiness chasing me is quite worthwhile if you think of it.'
A smile formed on his face as he silently gaze onto the blazing sky. An ending so a new beginning can come to life.
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